69 www.rnca.ca from an abusive spouse or they may end up being an abusive spouse. Psychological and verbal violence Children who have experienced physical abuse often report they were more traumatized by the emotional and verbal abuse than the physical. Unfortunately, this type of abuse (threatening, humiliating, name calling, yelling, rejecting) is not as measurable as a broken arm or a black eye, and must reach extreme levels before it is taken seriously by family members, health professionals or the legal system. Many professionals who have worked with family violence for years agree that psychological and verbal abuse can be more damaging than physical abuse. While research shows the devastating effects divorce has on children, it is time we take a closer look at the effects of family violence as well. This is the dilemma of the concerned mother who stays in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children. Which is worse for the children – staying in a violent home or being traumatized by divorce? According to Dr. Richard Gelles, a leader in the study of domestic violence, the worst thing that can happen to children is to grow up in an abusive home. Impact of domestic violence on children • It is estimated that 310 million children witness family violence each year. • Children are present in 4155 per cent of homes where police respond to domestic violence calls. • Experts believe that 5070 per cent of men who abuse their partners also abuse children in the home. • Children are often unintentionally injured when furniture is overturned or objects are thrown. Older children are injured when they try to intervene and protect their mother. • Onethird of the children who witness violence in the home demonstrate significant behaviour and/or emotional problems. Children can be adversely affected just by overhearing arguments, even when physical violence is not present. • Boys who witness their father abuse their mother are more likely to repeat the pattern of abuse in their own homes because they learn that men have a right to beat women. Girls grow up believing that disrespect is normal. • According to Dr. Richard Gelles, a leader in the study of domestic violence, the worst thing that can happen to children is to grow up in an abusive home. The impact of family violence on children continued continued
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