77 www.rnca.ca Sometimes, young people don’t want to talk about abuse because they feel guilty. They may feel like they’re betraying their parents or caregivers by asking for help. They may also be worried about practical things, like being separated from their siblings, or in certain cases, being deported. It takes a lot of courage to talk about abuse, so take the time you need. Until you’re ready to talk, here are some things you can do to stay safe and prepare for the next step: • create a safety plan • get involved with hobbies • identify and build your social support network • connect with people who you know you’re safe with Staying safe Keeping yourself safe is important, even if you’ve already told someone about the abuse and you’re getting help. This may mean avoiding certain family members or calling the emergency services in your area when you feel like you’re in danger. It’s also important to be emotionally safe. This may mean not exposing yourself to situations that make you feel uncomfortable, or staying away from unsupportive friends. It’s a good idea to make a plan for your own safety. If you need more support, please call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868. Taking care of yourself It’s always important to take care of yourself, especially when there’s a lot going on. Here are some ideas: Be kind to yourself Saying nice, positive things to yourself can help you feel reassured and safe. It may help to write these things down and keep them close to you so that you can read them when you feel discouraged. Here are some examples: • “I am not a bad person.” • “I wasn’t hurt because I was bad.” • “It’s not my fault.” • “I don’t deserve to be abused.” • “Things will get better.” Make a list Write down the positive things that have happened because you asked for help. This list can help you remember why you spoke out and give you hope for a happier future. Here are some examples: • “I was living with abuse, and now I’m not.” • “Being away from the abuse helps me build relationships that are free of abuse.” • “Being away from the abuse helps me work on my self-esteem.” • “Speaking out means that my life has more hope.” Talk to someone If you’re struggling with your feelings, or if you just need to talk, you can always call Kids Help Phone’s professional counsellors at 1-800-668-6868 or text a crisis responder at 686868. You can also contact someone else you trust, such as a relative, friend or anyone else you feel comfortable with. You don’t have to handle things on your own and you’re not alone. kidshelpphone.ca Dealing with family abuse continued
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