59 www.rnca.ca • Security system. • Waving a towel in a window. • Having secret code words with trusted family, neighbours or friends. 4. Referral Finding services that can help • Regional Health Authority. • Sexual Assault Crisis and Prevention Centre. • Mental Health Crisis Line. • Justice system. • Victim Services. • Transition houses/shelters. • Faith or spiritual community. 5. Emotional support Finding emotional support and ways to become less isolated • Exercise/yoga group. • Hobby, art, music classes. • Trusted friends and family. • Peer support; support groups. • Community groups. What You Can Do as a Helper A good safety plan is victimdriven and victimcentered. It is based on the goals of the individual who is experiencing violence, and not the helper’s opinions. As a helper, you can: • Build rapport and help the person feel safe through active listening. • Learn what the person fears about the perpetrator and what might happen if harmful actions or threats are carried out. • Ask what the person wants to do and why. Learning about the motivation behind the person’s decisions can help you understand her or his goals. You may be able to suggest other options for reaching the same goal. • Brainstorm creative options and ideas together. What NOT to Do as a Helper • Tell the person what to do (“I think you should live with your son.”) • Simply refer the person to local agencies (“Here’s a list of agencies you can call. Let me know how it goes.”) • Impose your cultural, spiritual or generational values that may impact the person’s choices. (“I think your only choice is to divorce him.”) • Talk to the perpetrator on your own. • Recommend strategies that could increase risk for the person (such as recommending the purchase of a gun or other weapon; attending couples counselling; saying “just stand up to him”.) • Blame the person if she or he does not follow the safety plan and experiences further violence. Checklist for Creating Safety Plans Safety planning involves problemsolving in advance. This helps a person know what to do, both during and after a crisis situation. Below is a list of questions to consider and discuss with the person when preparing a safety plan. • What experience has the person had with safety planning and protection strategies? Which strategies worked? Which were ineffective? • How has the perpetrator behaved in the past? Is the perpetrator likely to reoffend? • Does the perpetrator have access to weapons? Have weapons been used in the past? • Is there a peace bond or protection order in effect? If so, what is the status? • Where does the person keep important phone numbers, personal documents, photographs, bank books? Safety Planning continued
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