POLICE ASSOCIATION OF NOVA SCOTIA 169 obtaining multiple criminal convictions (Olweus, 1979). These findings by Olweus and his group fit well with other studies which have found exactly the same outcome for children, especially males, who are aggressive as children (e.g. Robins, 1978; Loeber & Dishion, 1983). Another important but often overlooked group of children who are affected by bullying are those children who are neither victims nor perpetrators of bullying, but who see bullying happen to their peers. There are also children who will not take the intiative to bully themselves, but will follow a bully's lead in helping to harass or victimize a particular child in their class or school. All children, including bystanders, are negatively affected when bullying occurs. The bullying may cause anxiety or fear in bystanders. The learning environment is poisoned by bullying, particularly when there are no effective interventions in the bullying situation. Children who observe violent behaviour and see that it has no negative consequences for the bully, will be more likely to use aggression in the future. WHAT CAN BE DONE TO STOP BULLYING? There are many effective strategies for both teachers and parents who wish to stop bullying. An important starting point is to realize that much bullying occurs without the knowledge of teachers and parents, and that many victims are very reluctant to tell adults of their problems with bullying. They may be ashamed to be a victim, and they are afraid that adults cannot or will not help to resolve the situation. They may have been threatened with retaliation if they tell. Also, adults must re-examine some of their own beliefs with regard to interpersonal behaviour before they can intervene effectively. Many teachers and parents tell children not to "tattle," and to resolve their problems themselves. In the bullying situation, though, there is a power imbalance of some kind which ensures that the victim always gets the worst of the interaction. The victim and bully both need intervention in order to stop the pattern. Some important strategies in stopping bullying are: providing good supervision for children; providing e ffective consequences to bullies; using good communication between teachers and parents; providing all children opportunities to develop good interpersonal skills; and creating a social context which is supportive and inclusive, in which aggressive, bully behaviour is not tolerated by the majority. What Can Parents Do if Their Children are Being Bullied? 1. Ask the child directly. Often children do not wish to tell their parents due to shame and embarrassment, or fear that bullies will retaliate if they tell. Look for signs such as: fear of going to school, lack of friends, missing belongings and torn clothing, and increased fearfulness and anxiety. 2. Work with the school immediately to make sure your child is safe, that effective consequences are applied toward the bully, and that monitoring at school is adequate. Advocate for involvement of the bully's parents. If the bullying is happening on the way to and from school, arrange for the child to get to school with older, supportive children, or take him or her until other interventions can take place. 3. If your child is timid, and lacks friends, try to arrange for your child participate in positive social groups which meet his or her interests. Developing your child's special skills and confidence in the context of a positive social group can be very helpful. 4. Suggest that the school implement a comprehensive anti-bullying program. A home-and-school association meeting to discuss and support such an initiative can be helpful. What to do if Your Child is Aggressive or Bullies Others? Take the problem seriously. Children and youth who bully others often get into serious trouble in later life, and may receive criminal convictions. They may have continuing trouble in their relationships with others. Here are some things you can do to turn the situation around. 1. Talk to your child, talk to his or her teachers and administrators. Keep in mind that a bully will try to deny or minimize his or her wrong-doing. 2. Make it clear to your child that you will not tolerate this kind of behaviour, and discuss with your child the negative impact bullying has on the victims. Do not accept explanations that "it was all in fun." 3. Arrange for an effective, non-violent consequence, which is in proportion with the severity of your child's actions, and his or her age and stage of development. Corporal punishment carries the message that "might is right." 4. Increase your supervision of your child's activities and whereabouts, and who they are associating with. Spend time with your child, and set reasonable rules for their activities and curfews. continued...
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTM0NTk1OA==