POLICE ASSOCIATION OF NOVA SCOTIA 161 WHAT IS bullying? We all know it happens, but what are we doing to stop it? How much do we really know about it? How does it affect the elementary school and middle school population? How do you know what the people who are being bullied feel? I hope to answer some of these questions. Let's start with the first question: What is bullying? Well, the dictionary describes it as this: 1. To treat one in an overbearing or intimidating manner. 2. To force one's way aggressively or by intimidation. Sure, that's how they describe it. But they forgot to mention a lot of stuff. It isn't just that. Not that simple, sorry, wrong answer, goodbye, you've been voted off the island, you are the weakest link, Mr. Dictionary. Wrongo. Bullying isn't just physical. It can be any way of making a person feel lower than someone else, like putting a person down by name-calling, or mocking them, making fun of them; but yes, sometimes it is physical. And it is a form of abuse and harassment. Society today tends to think that because a person is different, they don't have feelings or that he or she is a lesser person than they really are. For example, a lot of times, children, teens and even adults with disabilities are put down, bullied or harassed by their peers and others, just because they're different. Just because they speak differently, or dress "out of fashion" or aren't in any group is no reason to make them feel bad. When you think of bullying, what is the first picture that comes to your mind? Maybe it's a nerd with rainbow suspenders and books tucked under one arm, getting pushed around by the bigger, "popular" kids. But why? Just because he's smart? Maybe you think of a girl or boy with a disability, or a disease, getting taunted on the bus by his or her peers. Maybe it's something else; but whatever the reason, it's wrong. A university study in the U.K. of 13,000 children aged 11 to 16 showed that 33 per cent of them are severely bullied on a regular basis, were scared of school and hated it. The percentage of teens being bullied had increased by 20 per cent. What are we doing to stop it? To tell the truth, there's plenty being done! But it's not nearly enough. It's mostly being done by organizations that kids just can't relate to, and the teens aren't getting involved. Go get involved. And if there isn't any group or anything in school, START ONE. If we didn't have people to start things, where would we be in the world? Help. Even if it's just saying hi to someone who is getting picked on or bullied in school, or helping them with their books, or (for the weak of heart, brace yourself!) stand up for them if you see someone being bullied. Even if you don't think it's any of your business. Maybe if the bully(ies) saw someone standing up for this person, maybe it would give them the hint that someone cares about him or her. And how much do you wanna bet that that bully, by himself, would take on three or four of you just for that? It's not very likely. So, you've done that person one favour, and that can really mean a lot to some. One experience can change a lifetime. Some people don't really know much about bullying and they don't really care, because they think it's not their problem. Well, it could be you out there some day, being taunted and called names. Getting shoved around by the "big people" or just by your peers. And guess what else? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. If you're not helping, you're showing your school that bullying isn't an issue to worry over, when it is. So, learn about it, and do all you can to prevent it. If I can change one person, I've made a difference, and isn't that what it's all about? How does it affect the elementary school and middle school population? This is really more a middle school issue, because that's when bullying is the strongest. It starts a little during elementary school (what with cooties and all); but as you get older, you go from cooties to rumours, and from rumours to lies, lies to put-downs, and from that to actual hard-core bullying. So, if you've been bullied from an early age, or even if you haven't, it will affect how you behave, your social life, and your emotions. For example, if you've been bullied since elementary school, by the time you get to middle school or junior high, you might be completely withdrawn from friends, family and people around you. That's what bullies do: They attack your emotions, and try to make you feel less than you are. If you are bullied, you will probably become withdrawn from others, shy, quiet; you might find it hard to behave normally; you don't work as well in school (and we all know how our parents like those As and Bs), and you can become very insecure. Most times, we regard people who are being bullied as being wimps, chickens, wusses, nerds or just too afraid to stand up for themselves. We think that the person must be doing something to deserve being bullied or tormented. But most times, if you've noticed, the bullies are the ones with the problems. Studies show that children and teens with family, social and behavioural problems really have no way to deal, so they let it out by picking on others, usually smaller or younger than them, to make themselves feel better. If you've been having a rough time and are resorting to bullying or violence to make yourself feel better, stop. There are better ways to deal. Try talking to a friend or one of your parents or relatives; or if, by chance, they don't listen to you ('cause you know they sometimes won't), the guidance counsellor and the Teen Health Centre are always there to listen and give advice. So, think before you act, and maybe it will make others feel a bit better about themselves. One person can change a lot. Think about it. Kerrin Kenny, age 14, is a student at Ridgecliff Middle School in Beechville. Bullying: behind closed minds By Kerrin Kenny Editor's note: The following article was written by a Ridgecliff Middle School student for fellow students. This article was originally published 03/28/2002 on www.herald.ns.ca "Atlantic Canada's largest newspaper"
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