POLICE ASSOCIATION OF NOVA SCOTIA 149 Finally - accountability for bullies! In April, 2002, Emmett Fralick killed himself. He was 14. He was a grade 9 student in Halifax, Nova Scotia. And he was a victim of bullying. Most people haven’t got a clue about bullying. They either don’t know it exists, deny it exists, deny that there’s any harm in it, or deny that bullies need any punishment or treatment. “Boys will be boys,” they say (or, increasingly, “girls will be girls”). “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” they say. Of course, those are the people who’ve never been bullied. Children will live up to the expectations of those around them. They’ll live down to them, too. If their peers keep telling them they’re worthless, they’ll feel as is they have become worthless. If their parents don’t tell them they’re valuable, they will never feel valuable. And the anguish of thinking you’re worthless is one that leads quickly to the idea of ending the anguish by ending your life. I know what I’m talking about here. While I never actually attempted suicide, I can’t tell you how many sleepness nights I spent contemplating it. I don’t know why I never did. I don’t know why I always found an ember of hope somewhere inside myself that Emmett and others never found themselves. I feel guilty that I had some kind of luck that Emmett and so many others didn’t have. So I was very glad to see that today, a 15-year-old girl pleaded guilty to charges of extortion, assault, and threat to cause bodily harm. She was sentenced to a year in jail. A year in jail isn’t goint to bring Emmett back. But it sends a message. Amessage that has been sorely lacking in North American society. We all have to adopt that message. We must all have absolutely no tolerance for bullying. That doesn’t mean adopting those stupid ‘zero-tolerance’ rules that many schools are using as crutches. Amother here told me about her grade 2 son being bullied by a few grade 5 boys who were throwing snowballs at him. He was frustrated, and could think of no other way to escape or defend himself than to throw snowballs back. Guess what? Under the school’s ‘zero-tolerance’ rules, he got as much punishment as the grade 5 boys got. Now, of course, anyone with two clues to rub together would have punished the big kids, and, at most, offered suggestions to the grade 2 boy on better ways to handle the situation. But if people really understood about bullying, it wouldn’t be a problem. If you ever hear of a principal, teacher, or school board trustee denying that bullying is a problem in their schools, call or write them and tell them to pull their head of their butt. If you ever hear that your child is being bullied, take it seriously and don’t let anyone else not take it seriously. If you ever hear that you child is bullying, get help for him or her fast, before jail is the next option. And if you don’t think it’s a problem and you’re wondering what all my ranting is about, pull your own head out of your (butt)! As originally published on members.shaw.ca/robertslaven/oilf/outinleftfield.html
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