POLICE ASSOCIATION OF NOVA SCOTIA 107 “Enjoy them now, they’ll soon be teenagers!” Warnings like this from friends and relatives, together with media images of adolescents as irresponsible, rebellious troublemakers, can lead parents to expect trouble as their children enter puberty. It is a rare parent who does not have to be a battleground during the teenage years. Parents and teens can live together more or less harmoniously if parents know what to expect and are willing to make some adjustments in the way they think and act. The purpose of these fact sheets is to help parents cope more effectively during their children’s adolescence. Although this information is intended mainly for parents of teenagers, it is general enough to be useful to parents of younger children as well. The first fact sheet discusses the way teenagers develop and what parents can do to them through the transition from childhood to adulthood. The second fact sheet will focus on strategies parents can use to deal with typical teenage behaviour. Teenagers – Myth and Reality When you hear the words “teenagers” or “adolescents”, what other terms come to your mind? “Rebellious,” “secretive,” “moody” or “self-centered”? Almost anything written about adolescents is likely to include these words. But are these really fair descriptions of the typical teenager? Do they spell trouble for teens and their families? Not necessarily. There have been many studies done on teens and their families. To a very large extent the research shows that many parents never encounter serious conflicts with their adolescent children. Studies show that parents can live peacefully with their teens by keeping communication open and positive and by encouraging their teens to become independent while maintaining reasonable rules. Growing a “thick skin” for the duration can certainly help too. “Teenager” is a loaded word and adolescents are victims of that label. Adolescents are not a separate species, after all, but human beings –– just like their parents. They too must cope with the day-to-day problems of living in a complex and changing world. Defining Adolescence What is adolescence? The Latin root of the word is esso which means “becoming.” The term is used to describe the period from puberty’s onset to the beginning of adulthood. In our culture this period can be described as a span of years, a stage of growth, a subculture, a state of mind or all of the above. In many other cultures, adolescence is not recognized as a distinct stage of life at all. Young people move directly from childhood to adulthood, with the transition marked by some formal rite of passage. In Europe and North America, technological advances that have followed the Industrial Revolution have made it necessary for young people to stay in school for many years. This means that there is a much longer period of “becoming” between the end of childhood of adult status at age eighteen. The term adolescence was invented to describe this in-between period in which young people are neither children nor adults. Adolescence begins with a period of physical development marked by a growth spurt that leads to puberty – the maturation of the primary sex organs. The timing of this process can vary a great deal among individuals of both sexes. For girls, the onset of puberty occurs between the ages of nine and fourteen, with twelve being the average. Female puberty is characterized by breast development, the appearance of pubic hair and broadening of the hips. A year of two later there is a sudden increase in height and menstruation begins. Boys start to mature physically around the age of eleven. The first sign is the enlargement of the testicles, followed by the appearance of pubic hair, changes in the penis and broadening of the shoulders. A boy’s growth spurt usually occurs around age fourteen when The Parent-Teen Relationship: Life through a Teenager’s Eyes Information from... The National Clearinghouse on Family Violence continued...
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