Dedicated to promoting safer homes and communities Citizens’ Crime Prevention Association of Newfoundland and Labrador SUICIDE PREVENTION
Suicide Prevention 1 The Citizens’ Crime Prevention Association of Newfoundland and Labrador was formed in 1988. It is comprised of police and citizens who are concerned with making our communities better and safer places in which to live. It was felt at that time that the traditional responses to crime in our communities were insufficient and that other responses were needed. The response that was seen as perhaps offering the greatest opportunity for success was the principle of the safer communities approach to crime prevention. The strategies highlighted by this approach and used by our communities are: • Crime Prevention through Social Development • Crime Prevention through Community-Based Policing • Crime Prevention through Opportunity Reduction This Suicide Prevention Guide contains important information to help educate and promote the public’s role in preventing suicides by recognizing the signs and behaviors of children and adults that may be at risk. Cover photo (created by a href) and banner image - www.freepik.com
www.CCPANL.ca 2
Suicide Prevention 3 CITIZENS’ CRIME PREVENTION ASSOCIATION of Newfoundland and Labrador CCPANL Executive Cheryl Barrett President Karyn Hopkins Secretary Ruth Fleet-Collins Treasurer Clarenville & Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Janet Forbes Gambo Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Ruth Fleet-Collins Gander & Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Wilson Chaulk Happy Valley - Goose Bay Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Craig Cowperthwaite Labrador West Community Policing Committee President - Gail Pike Mount Pearl Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Rosiland Pratt St. John’s Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Debby Lake Trinity Bay North Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Doreen Rumbolt Trinity - Conception Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee President - Wynette Smallwood Roberta Stanford Past President Sgt Julie Cunningham RNC Liaison Cst. Robert Hynes RCMP Liaison
www.CCPANL.ca 4 Phone: (709) 747-2626 Fax: (709) 747-2623 Cell: (709) 682-4296 Toll Free: (800) 563-9667 Email: cbrown@emcoltd.com www.emcowaterworks.com www.sandale.ca SHAWN DOWLING Manager 11 Cartwright Plaza Grand Falls-Windsor, NL A2A 1L7 (709) 489-5566 Yvonne Way, Owner 10 Queensway Park Grand Falls-Windsor, NL A2B 1J3 Bus: 709 489 3307 l 24HR 709 486 1003 www.exploitshomecare.com yandwway@nf.sympatico.ca
Suicide Prevention 5 SUICIDE PREVENTION About Us . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 CCPANL Executive. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 HELP OVER THE PHONE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 CCPANL Photo Album. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 What is Suicide?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 9-8-8. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Suicide Prevention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Statistics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 I’m Having Thoughts of Suicide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Having Hope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 How to Support a Suicide Attempt Survivor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 I’m Concerned About Someone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Support for People Living With Loss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 2-1-1. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 ADVERTISERS’ INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik
www.CCPANL.ca 6 Help Over the Phone If it is a police emergency call 911. NL HealthLine 811 - Tel: 811 or TTY 1-888-834-1252 Text and Video Relay Service (VRS) lines are available for individuals who may be hard-of hearing, identify as having communication disability, or are deaf, please contact the VRS number: 1-888-834-1252. For texting, please download the 811 NL HealthLine app in the Apple and Google Play app stores. NL HealthLine 811 is a free, confidential, 24-hour telephone line, staffed by experienced registered nurses in our province who can offer health advice, information and connect you to resources and local services. NL HealthLine 811 is managed by the government of Newfoundland and Labrador. Mental Health Crisis Line - Tel: 811 Call now if you feel like you are unable to cope, are thinking about suicide or if you are unsure where to turn for help.The Mental Health Crisis Line is a free, confidential service for individuals, family and friends. The crisis line is province-wide, 24 hours a day. Warm Line - Tel: 709-753-2560 or toll-free at 1-855-753-2560 Need someone to talk to? The Warm Line offers non-emergency, non-crisis telephone support for people in the province who are living with mental health issues. Consumers’ Health Awareness Network Newfoundland and Labrador (CHANNAL) provides support programs for people with mental illness in the province.Trained peer supporters are nonjudgmental and have firsthand knowledge. Please call between 11:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m., seven days a week. First Nations and Inuit Hope forWellness Help Line Tel: 709-753-2560 or toll-free at 1-855-753-2560 The help line provides immediate culturally competent, telephone crisis intervention counselling support for First Nations and Inuit, 24 hours a day. Kids Help Phone - Tel: 1-800-668-6868 Kids Help Phone is always there for you. No matter what you want to talk about, we’re here to listen. No judgment, totally private, 24 hours, seven days a week. Call toll-free or go to kidshelpphone.ca to connect by text, email, or live chat. Doorways - https://mha.easternhealth.ca/doorways/ Doorways provides rapid access to mental health and addictions counselling services ‘one session at a time.’While most Doorways locations offer a walk-in service, some locations provide same-day or next day services or appointments by phone.Walk-in counselling services are available without an appointment or referral. Port Aux Basques 695-6250 • Burgeo 886-2185 • Stephenville 643-8740 Corner Brook 634-4506 (Adult) 634-4171 (Children & Youth) • Deer Lake 635-7830 Norris Point 458-2381 • Port Saunders 861-9125 https://nl.bridgethegapp.ca/service-directory/doorways-mental-health-walk-in-clinics-st-johns/
Suicide Prevention 7 CRAFT COUNCIL SHOP & PANTRY WWW.CRAFTCOUNCILNL.CA 155 WATER STREET, ST. JOHN’S 709-237 8373 1289AKenmount Road Paradise CDNRG.COM We’ll buy your scrap batteries! • BATTERIES • MOBILE POWER • RENEWABLE ENERGY • BACKUPPOWER • ENERGY STORAGE CANADA’S STORED &RENEWABLE ENERGY EXPERTS.
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Suicide Prevention 9 WHAT IS SUICIDE? - Suicide is when someone tries to end his or her life on purpose. People think about suicide in an attempt to deal with some problem or stress. Most people who attempt or complete suicide don’t necessarily want to die; rather, they want to escape their overwhelming emotional pain. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The good news is that there are always other options. If you are thinking about suicide, and things have reached a crisis point where you don't think you can keep yourself safe: • Call a crisis line • If you have a doctor, then make an appointment to see him/her. • Call your local mental health agency in order to see a counselor/therapist • Reach out to a family member or friend. Call them and let them know that you have been feeling overwhelmed, and that you could use their support, whether it is just listening or spending some time together. • Go to the nearest hospital emergency department. Remember: Although your situation may have tricked you into feeling that you are alone, you are NOT alone. Help is a phone call away... If you know someone who is feeling suicidal, there are many ways to support and get them help: • Help your friend make that telephone call to a crisis line • Help your friend book an appointment with their doctor, or counselor/therapist • Go with your friend to the nearest hospital emergency department • Let other trusted friends and family know so that they can be supportive. • If you discover someone who has just harmed themselves, then call 911, or your local Emergency Medical Services (EMS) number. ementalhealth.ca
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Suicide Prevention 11 People across Canada can call and text 9-8-8, a new three-digit service, for help when they need it most. The service offers trauma-informed and culturally affirming support to anyone who is thinking of suicide, or who is worried about someone they know. While the focus of 9-8-8 is on suicide prevention, no one who reaches out to the service will be turned away.Whoever you are, wherever you are located in Canada, by calling or texting 9-8-8 you can connect with a trained responder who’s ready to listen without judgement. In the face of increased demand for crisis services, 9-8-8 provides: • A number that’s easy to remember in a crisis situation. • Support in English and in French, by phone and text. • Quick access to support from trained responders, available 24/7/365. • High quality, evidence-based, equitable suicide prevention and crisis support for everyone in Canada. Image by freepik.com 9-8-8 cmha.ca
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Suicide Prevention 13 What is suicide? The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) identify Suicide as the act of intentionally causing one’s own death and is often related to complex stressors and health issues. Suicide occurs across all ages, incomes, ethnicities and social factors. What are the signs and symptoms? People who are at risk for suicide may: ● show a change in mood or behaviour ● show a sense of hopelessness and helplessness ● express the wish to die or end their life ● increase substance use ● withdraw from people and activities that they previously enjoyed If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, this is a mental health emergency, and you are deserving of help. Call the Mental Health Crisis Line at 811 or call your local mental health and addictions office to speak to a counselor. Most often, people experience suicidal thoughts when they have lost hope and feel helpless.They want their pain to end, and they may see no other way out. Suicide can also be an impulsive act that follows the use of substances. In some cases, people with psychotic illnesses such as schizophrenia may hear voices that tell them to harm themselves. Suicide can be prevented. Most people who have suicidal thoughts, or who have attempted suicide, do not die by suicide. Many people can recover from these experiences and live full and meaningful lives. SUICIDE PREVENTION Image by freepik.com continued
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Suicide Prevention 15 ● experience changes in sleeping patterns ● experience significant changes in routine ● have a decreased appetite ● making peace with friends and/or family ● give away personal items ● feelings of hopelessness or helplessness What are the risk factors? Risk factors can be broken down into different areas of our lives. Individual risks factors include: ● Previous suicide attempt ● Mental illness, such as depression ● Social isolation ● Criminal problems ● Financial problems ● Impulsive or aggressive tendencies ● Job problems or loss ● Legal problems ● Serious illness ● Substance use disorder Relationship risk factors include: ● Adverse childhood experiences such as child abuse and neglect ● Bullying ● Family history of suicide ● Relationship problems such as a break-up, violence, or loss ● Sexual violence continued SUICIDE PREVENTION cont’d
www.CCPANL.ca 16 19 Brown’s Pl., Whitbourne NL A0B 3K0 (709) 759-2202 Follow us on mm Burin Pharmacy Ltd Serving Burin Peninsula residents for more than 50 years! Complete Home Health Care Department Purchases, Rental Service P.O. BOX 519, BURIN BAY ARM , NL A0E 1G0 (709) 891-1111 380 Hamilton River Road Happy Valley-Goose Bay, NL A0P 1C0, Canada Tel: (709) 896-3351 Fax: (709) 896-3927 reservations@labradorinn.com Toll Free 1-800-563-2763 www.labradorinn.nf.ca Breakers Sports Lounge, 320 Torbay Road (Fall River Plaza) St. John’s NL CA Rustlers Family Style Restaurant www.rustlersfamilyrestaurant.ca info@rustlersrestaurant.ca phone 709-576-4782 Breakers Sports Lounge www.breakerssportslounge.ca info@breakerssportslounge.ca phone 709-739-4355 The Local Public House www.thelocalpublichouse.ca info@thelocalpublichouse.ca phone 709-753-2337 “Shaking things up on the North-East end” Randy Patey Owner Operator CL 709.687.0955 Michelle Sheppard Owner Operator CL 709.687.0255 Irving Pelley Corporate Sales Manager 37 Bremigens Blvd. Paradise, Newfoundland E irving.pelley@marks.com D 709.368.1321 C 709.687.3672 W markscommercial.ca Avalon Mall, 48 Kenmount Road (709) 739-7074
Suicide Prevention 17 Environmental Risk Factors Include: ● Barriers to health care ● Cultural and religious beliefs such as a belief that suicide is noble resolution of a personal problem ● Suicide cluster in the community ● Stigma associated with mental illness or help-seeking ● Easy access to lethal means among people at risk (e.g. firearms, medications) ● Unsafe media portrayals of suicide What are protective factors? There are some individual characteristics and things we can do in our environment that may help protect people from suicidal thoughts and behavior.There is not as much research about these protective factors as there is about risk factors, however identifying and understanding them is very important. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) identify that the risk for suicide may be reduced when “protective factors” are present. In general, protective factors can help a person to recover or “bounce back” in the face of stress and adversity. Protective factors include: ● positive social supports ● a sense of responsibility for others, such as having children in the home (except when the person has postpartum depression or psychosis) or having pets ● positive coping skills ● a positive relationship with a medical or mental health provider ● self-efficacy (a person’s belief in their ability to succeed in specific situations) ● a religious belief that suicide is wrong. SUICIDE PREVENTION cont’d continued
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Suicide Prevention 19 How can I help somone who is at risk for suicide? ● Listen to them and take them seriously. Don’t judge or minimize their feelings. Remind them that their feelings are valid.Ask if they want to die or if they just want the pain/struggle to end. Be positive and hopeful and remember that suicide can be prevented. ● Ask them if they are having thoughts of suicide. Don’t be afraid that you will put the idea in their head. It may be a relief for them to talk about it. ● Ask if they have a plan. Depending on their answer you may want to limit their access to lethal means, such as medication, knives or firearms. ● Ask them to rate their suicidal feelings on a scale of one to 10. Regularly ask them to tell you where they are on the scale, so you can assess if things are getting worse. ● Let them know help is available and that the cause of their suicidal thoughts can be successfully treated. ● Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling. ● Encourage them to seek help from a doctor or mental health provider and offer to help with this if they would like. ● Keep the contact information of the nearest emergency department, crisis line and your health care providers close at hand; ● Make a safety plan with them.Who will they call if their feelings get stronger?Who can stay with them to keep them safe? Make a list of phone numbers of people and services they can call if they feel unsafe. Avoid leaving the person alone if they are in crisis. ● Seek support for yourself. It is important that you don’t carry this burden alone. Call the Mental Health Crisis Line at 811 or call your local mental health and addictions office to speak to a counselor. SUICIDE PREVENTION cont’d nl.bridgethegapp.ca
www.CCPANL.ca 20 Email: info@thomasamusements.ca web: thomasamusements.ca Tel.: (709) 256-3528 Toll Free: 1-888-236-6539 Fax: (709) 256-7743 Email: dispatch@dooleystrucking.com P.O. Box 398, 60 Ward Street Gander, NL A1V 1W8 General LTL and Temperature Control Freight, Courier and Specialty Logistics Services for Newfoundland 96 Clyde Ave., Suite 101, Donovans Ind. Park Mount Pearl, NL A1N 4S2 T: 709-745-8884 • F: 709-745-8288 www.nuquest.com David A. Mills K.C. Mark A. Mills 87 Gallant St., P.O. Box 447 Stephenville, NL A2N 3A3 Phone: (709) 643-5688 Fax: (709) 643-2906 Phone: 709-282-3553 Fax: 708-282-5553 Email: marshall.randell@timbrmart.ca PO Box 309, 16 Second Avenue Wabush, NL A0R 1B0 MikeStagg Owner/Operator Stagg&Templeman Owners / Operators of: STORE HOURS: Monday - Friday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Saturday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. PHARMACY HOURS: Monday - Friday 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Suicide Prevention 21 canada.ca
www.CCPANL.ca 22 Fiander’s Marystown Ambulance Services Ltd 709-279-2121 Marystown, NL A0E 2M0 White Bay South Development Association 39 Academy Drive Pollard’s Point, NL A0K 4B0 Telephone: (709) 482-2236 Fax: (709) 482-2045 Serving the communities of: Hampden, Pollard’s Point, Sop’s Arm, Jackson’s Arm & Beaches Residential & Commercial KEITH F. ROSE Over 39 Years Phone: (709) 722-1932 Email: krose@starliteelectric.com www.starliteelectricltd.com 100 Brookfield Road Unit “C” St. John’s, NL A1E 3T9 Industrial Rubber Labrador 1-15 Third Avenue Wabush, NL A0R 1B0 (709) 282-7363 Located in the Wabush Industrial Park in Wabush NL, Canada, IRL caters to the mining and service industries. IRL is able to perform hot and cold vulcanization to many different surfaces that extend equipment life for the toughest abrasion and corrosion applications. • Assurance • Tax • Advisory Chartered Professional Accountants www.waypointsnl.ca Suite 202 120 Stavanger Drive St. John’s, NL A1A 5E8 www.harrisryan.com Phone: (709) 726-8324 Fax: (709) 726-4525
Suicide Prevention 23 What you need to know about suicide related thoughts Suicide-related thoughts can mean different things for different people.They can be an early warning sign that a person is under a lot of stress and worry. They can be the result of intense feelings that a person doesn’t know how to name or how to cope with. For others, suicide related thoughts can be tied to a diagnosed mental illness such as a major depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, an anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, or substance use. Having these thoughts can be scary for some and for others, may be perceived to be a comfort as they believe that it may offer a choice or some control when things feel overwhelming and insurmountable. When thoughts of suicide arise, know that “your brain is not your friend”. We know that the intensity of the feelings and thoughts interfere with a person’s ability to problem solve. continued If you are experiencing suicide-related thoughts and behaviours, you need to know that you’re not alone and there are many crisis centres available 24 hours a day to talk to you. Thoughts of suicide can sneak up on some people when they are not expecting it. For others, they can come and go and still for others, they always seem to be in the back or front of their mind. If you are experiencing suicide-related thoughts, you need to know that you’re not alone. By some estimates, as many as one in six people will think seriously about suicide at some point in their lives. I’M HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE
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Suicide Prevention 25 Will the thoughts go away? continued I’M HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE cont’d Reasons for living or engaging with possibilities of a future can help manage the current pain. Living and dealing with these thoughts can be helped through treatment. It’s not easy and still, neither the thought nor the feelings will end a person’s life; it’s what you do with those thoughts and feelings. Treatment is not one size fits all. Different treatments work better for some people and at different times in their lives. If you find you are thinking of suicide and can’t think your way out of those thoughts, reach out to a friend, a family member, clergy member, crisis line, therapist or counsellor.They may help you see alternatives, even if just for the time being, to help you keep yourself safer. The intensity of thoughts of suicide will wax and wane and for some, they may experience these thoughts only once in their lifetime.There can be moments or even days or years of comfort, relief, contentment, even humour or joy, in the midst of experiencing thoughts and feelings that in the moment seem to “never go away”. An example might be that even if my life is falling apart, I can still smile when I eat my favourite food while petting my cat. I can go on a vacation or a day trip and get some relief from the intensity of the thoughts, for the time being. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, it’s hard to think of the big picture of a future. That’s because your brain has engaged in what is called “constricted thinking”. Break it down into smaller chunks. “Future” might mean until the next commercial, an hour, a day, a month, or a year. Some people find it helpful to have pictures of people they care about or who care about them; a card or letter from someone important to them; a poem, painting, or song, nearby to remind them they are cared about. Some people find distraction activities helpful, a crossword puzzle, word search, movie, online games, exercising or dancing are some ideas.
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Suicide Prevention 27 continued Do not keep suicidal thoughts to yourself! I’M HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE cont’d By sharing your thoughts with someone who can hear your distress, you are no longer holding “the secret” alone. There is no shame to thoughts of suicide.The thoughts are giving you important information that all is not well.There are people who are willing and able to help. Talk to someone, a friend, therapist, clergy member, family member, or teacher and let them know you are wanting their help because the situation feels so horrible. If the first person you try to talk to doesn’t get it, try someone else. Not everyone has the skills and where some people are good at “doing” things, others are good at listening. Pick someone or a resource you think will be best at the moment. “Hope can be as simple and as profound as the voice of another human being who appears to hear our fear.” What is it? Is it a curse or blessing or both? The sense of having no hope deepens our despair. One of the worst things we say to another human being is that they are hopeless. We speak of being hopeful…of feeling hopeless. We cannot give another person hope. Reality teaches us that what is hope to one may be a burden to another. In other words, my hope is not your hope. The challenge is to find a definition of hope that is truly our own. HAVING HOPE
www.CCPANL.ca 28 Aboriginal Cleaners 11 Loring Drive Happy Valley-Goose Bay, NL A0P 1C0 Shawn Burden Owner/Operator Phone: (709) 896-3503 Fax: (709) 896-2764 61 Church St., Bonavista NL A0C 1B0 (709) 4762330 asapcabs@hotmail.com 709-489-7171 ASAP CABS 25 Main Street Corner Brook NL A2H 1C2 (709) 639-8712 9 Babb Crescent Mount Pearl NL A1N 4K9 (709) 743-67777 • daisydesign.ca Kyle Hardiman Project Manager - Renovations (709) 746-9657 islandflooring@outlook.com FREE ESTIMATES Quality that lasts Follow us on: Proud to support Newfoundland Crime Prevention
Suicide Prevention 29 HAVING HOPE cont’d The key to this illusive concept of hope is finding our own definition of what it means in the midst of life. As we struggle with darkness, fear, despair and apathy we can feel that there is no hope. Perhaps that feeling comes from our understanding of what hope has been in the past. Perhaps what we experience in the extremity of struggle is a whole new definition of hope. Victor Havel writes, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.” Experience teaches us that our understanding of hope changes throughout our lifetime. When we are children hope is what makes us happy. As we age, hope is a goal, a vision, a dream. It is far less immediate. Something we might attain, rather than a state we can dwell in, right here and right now. Hope, at the darkest moments in our life, is not a comprehensive commitment to faith and belief. At those times hope can be as simple and as profound as the voice of another human being who appears to hear our fear; hope can be the knowledge that the sun will rise tomorrow, hope can be the smell of fresh spring rain, or the first snow flake, or the photo of someone we love. When despair seems to overcome us we feel disconnected, isolated, lost. What we need most in those moments is a means of re-connection, relationship and belonging. This “means” can be surprisingly simple or deeply complex. What matters at the moment is that we find this path of meaning in this life, here and now. As someone who studied the science of hope, Ronna Jevne writes, “Hope; we ridicule those who have too much of it. We hospitalize those who have too little. It is dependent on so many things yet indisputably necessary to most. Those who have it live longer. Words cannot destroy it. Science has overlooked it. A day without it is dreadful. A day with an abundance of it guarantees little.” If you are reading these words; you have hope. Try not to compare it with anyone else’s expression of hope. Try not to get caught in the dualism of good – bad, hopeful and hopeless, worthwhile and worthless…the only kind of hope that will succeed is one that melts all the need of competition and
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Suicide Prevention 31 HAVING HOPE cont’d comparison. When we can come to this understanding we experience a sense of peace, both within and beyond ourselves. In this state we trust life to be a journey of adventure, meaning and worth. Imagine hope as an energy that melts the difference between life and death. Life then is no longer either/or, it becomes more than we can even imagine. Ending life then is not the option for the end of struggle because life is not an endurance test of endless struggle. It is rather a mixture of struggle and strength. This is radical hope because it is often born in a sense of hopelessness. It is a new definition of the meaning of hope, which is not about happiness – rather it is about fullness, meaning and connection. It is being constantly reshaped and redefined, and it is constantly inviting us to the never-ending story of life’s meaning.This is how hope becomes energy for whatever we have to face in life. It is not optimism, rather it is strength of seeking and realism. Hope irks many professionals. Professionals are trained to know. Yet the choice is ours to make in relation to hope. We can open ourselves to the mystery or stay with the illusion of certainty. Books abound on the topic of hope, but before you begin reading take some time to read from the book of your own life. Here some questions that may help you define your meaning of hope: •Who are the most hopeful people you have known in your life? •Who would you call to help with your hope right now? •What images do you have of hope: music, smells, objects, colors, etc.? • How do you nurture and care for your hope? What do you do to increase and strengthen it? •What most threatens your hope? •What do you think false hope is? •Where do you look for hope when you feel hopeless? • Can you remember a story of hope from your own life? •When you close your eyes and try to imagine a picture of hope, what do you see? • If a child asked you right now,“What is hope?” how would you respond? • Do you have a practice of hope? What if you began each day asking, what do I hope for on this day? What if you ended each day with the reflective question,“Where did I find hope today?”
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Suicide Prevention 33 continued 4Things Suicide Attempt SurvivorsWantYouTo Know If you know someone who has suicide-related thoughts or behaviours who is at risk of suicide and you are looking for ways to offer support, here are a few things you’ll want to keep in mind. Supporting a suicide attempt survivor can be scary.When you know that someone has been pushed to the edge before, you might wonder what’s stopping him, her or them from doing it again. The truth is, your support can play a role in steering attempt survivors down the road to healing and keeping them on the right track. The first thing you need to remember is that these survivors have fought their way back through the darkness and, in this moment, are making the choice to live. Honour that choice by acknowledging that they want to be here and realize that what they’re doing by talking about it, is finally giving themselves permission to ask for help. Talk openly about suicide Suicide is NOT a bad word. It’s not gross. It’s not shameful. It is something that happens, and if you’re talking to a suicide attempt survivor, it’s something that happened to them. The importance of talking openly about suicide is vital in supporting suicide attempt survivors. Providing an honest and welcoming space where suicide isn’t considered taboo is necessary in order for attempt survivors to comfortably share their feelings and experience. As one survivor of suicide reveals in an article on Every Feminism: “When we don’t have healthy, compassionate conversations about suicide and survival, we ultimately discourage survivors from seeking out support.” HOW TO SUPPORT A SUICIDE ATTEMPT SURVIVOR
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Suicide Prevention 35 HOW TO SUPPORT A SUICIDE ATTEMPT SURVIVOR cont’d Be patient According to former CASP board member Yvonne Bergmans, one of the most important things to remember when supporting a suicide attempt survivor is patience. Suicide attempt survivors may need different things at different times. They might want to be surrounded by people one day, yet choose to spend the next in total isolation. Remember that they are doing the best they know how to in that very moment, and remind yourself that in the life of a suicide attempt survivor living moment to moment is a pretty big deal. Respect their decisions and check-in frequently to see if they could use a friend.Also keep an eye out for the warning signs for those at risk of suicide. Listen to what is being said Don’t feel as if you have to offer solutions or dissect the reason behind an attempt - that’s where professional help comes in. An attempt survivor shared with LiveThroughThis.org that during her most trying times, lots of people would say things like: “What do you have to be depressed about?”, to which she responded “Depression doesn’t need a reason — it just is.“ Be aware that you may not fully grasp what’s going on in the mind of a suicide attempt survivor, then accept that such awareness is okay. You don’t have to understand, you just have to be there if and when they choose to open up about their experience.At that point, be sure to listen to what they’re saying and tune in as they’re telling their story. Shut down stigma One of the biggest challenges faced by suicide attempt survivors is the stigma they have to face on their way to find help. Telling someone you attempted suicide is hard enough. Hearing that it was selfish to try in the first place certainly doesn’t make it easier to open up. Survivors of suicide attempts need compassion, not judgment. They need support as they navigate their way through the abyss of stigma, shame, guilt and stereotypes that surrounds suicide. So, what is the message that suicide attempt survivors need to hear? “You are worth life.You are worth living.You are worth breathing.You are worth having children.You are worth going to college.You are worth telling jokes.You are worth writing poems.You are worth your life.You have a right to live.”
www.CCPANL.ca 36 P.O. Box 22, Normans Cove, NL A0B 2T0 (709) 592-2521 Blair J. Jewer 2A Bank Road, PO Box 471 Grand Falls-Windsor, NL A2A 2J9 (709) 489-7755 Fax: (709) 489-8646 blair@blairjewer.ca Chartered Professional Accountant Head Office: P.O. Box 130, L’Anse au Loup, NL A0K 3L0 Phone: 709-927-5816 Fax: 709-927-5555 www.labshrimp.com Fish Processing Plants at Cartwright, L’Anse au Loup, Mary’s Harbour, Pinsent’s Arm and Charlottetown Fresh Atlantic Products from the People’s Seafood Company PO Box 159 160 Holyrood Access Road Holyrood, NL A0A 2R0 Phone: (709) 895-3764 Fax: (709) 895-3790 Web: www.ibew@nf.ca
Suicide Prevention 37 What you can do when you’re concerned Never agree to keep thoughts of suicide a secret. Sometimes instinct tells us we have to break confidentiality. It’s better to have someone alive and mad at you than dead by suicide and you feeling that you missed an opportunity to help them keep safe.We recommend treating this subject and the people involved with respect, dignity and compassion and don’t keep it to yourself. Know who you can connect with as this work cannot be done alone.You may, as a helper, experience thoughts and feelings that are uncomfortable. It’s OKAY to reach out. Talking about suicide can provide tremendous relief and being a listener is the best intervention anyone can give. Talking about suicide will not cause suicide.When experiencing intense emotions, the person will not be able to problem solve. It is not your job to fix their problems. Listen, care, validate and be non-judgmental. Questions to consider asking someone you are concerned about: • Are you thinking of suicide? • Have you tried to end your life before? • Have you been feeling left out or alone? • Have you been feeling like you’re a burden? • Do you feel isolated and or disconnected? • Are you experiencing the feeling of being trapped? • Has someone close to you recently died by suicide? • How are you thinking of ending your life? • Do you have the means to do this (firearms, drugs, ropes)? • Have you been drinking or taken any drugs or medications? • How have you been sleeping? • Are you feeling more anxious than usual? •Who can we contact that you feel safe and/or comfortable with? I’M CONCERNED ABOUT SOMEONE Image by freepik.com cont’d
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Suicide Prevention 39 I’M CONCERNED ABOUT SOMEONE cont’d For the helper: • Are you noticing or have you noticed any dramatic mood changes? • Changes in work behavior or school attendance/marks dropping? • Does the person seem to be out of touch with reality? What areWarning Signs? Suicide prevention depends heavily on our ability to recognize people who are in distress and may be at risk. The American Association of Suicidology developed a simple tool that we can all use to remember the warning signs of suicide. This tool is called “IS PATHWARM” and outlines the key points to remember. How to be Helpful When Someone is Having SuicideRelatedThoughts • Take all threats or attempts seriously. • Be aware and learn warning signs of suicide. • Be direct and ask if the person is thinking of suicide. If the answer is yes, ask if the person has a plan and what the time line is. • Be non-judgmental and empathic. • Do not minimize the feelings expressed by the person. • Do not be sworn to secrecy… seek out the support of appropriate professionals. • Ask if there is anything you can do. • Draw on resources in the person’s network. • Do not use clichés or try to debate with the person. • In an acute crisis take the person to an emergency room or walk in clinic or call a mobile crisis service if one is available. • Do not leave them alone until help is provided. • Remove any obvious means (e.g. firearms, drugs or sharp objects) from the immediate vicinity.
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Suicide Prevention 41 If you are very new to the tragedy of suicide loss, despair may be your companion.We hope you find some time to rest your burden and share it with those of us who need no explanation. You are not alone. The fact that someone died by suicide does not diminish our love for them, their value, the contribution they made to our families and communities and our right and need to celebrate and honour their lives and accomplishments. It is how a person lived, not how they died, that defines someone. People who are impacted by suicide loss are the most courageous people we know. Be well, be peaceful, be hopeful. Normal Reactions to Suicide Loss Shock and Numbness Suicide bereavement is one of the most intensely painful experiences you are likely to undergo.The pain may be so overwhelming initially, that your natural defence mechanism shuts down. At some point the numbness leaves and you will need to go through the pain that is buried. Deep Sadness Deep sadness is normal. Other common feelings experienced may include helplessness, hopelessness, fear, failure, anxiety, depression, rejection and abandonment. Anger and Blame Anger and blame may be directed towards those you perceive to have been at fault. These may include doctors, counselors, friends, family, yourself or even the person that died. Guilt Survivors of suicide often feel they missed or ignored earlier warning signs of distress. Hindsight plays a role in this. Others may have decided to give up trying to help as they needed distance to keep themselves healthy. Image by freepik.com cont’d SUPPORT FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH LOSS
www.CCPANL.ca 42 The Town of Bonavista is proud to support the Citizens Crime Prevention Association PO Box 279 Bonavista NL A0C 1B0 (709) 468-7816 7 Harris Avenue Grand Falls-Windsor NL A2A 0C5 (709) 393-1113 Serving the community for over 55 years christopherstrucking.ca Chartered Professional Accountant Comptable Professionnelle Agréée Bruno Plaza Labrador City, NL A2V 2J8 plee@pearlrlee.ca Tel: (709) 944-7744 Res: (709) 944-5512 Fax: (709) 944-3431 Pearl R. Lee, CPA, CA
Suicide Prevention 43 continued SUPPORT FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH LOSS cont’d Shame It may be difficult to discuss the cause of death for fear of being judged. Rather than telling stories, it is okay to say you are not ready to talk about the loss. Some people continue to believe the myth that all people who die by suicide are either mentally ill or come from dysfunctional families. Others who care may stay away as they do not know what to say or how to be helpful. Let friends and family know what you need from them. Relief You may feel relief after a suicide, especially when the relationship with the deceased has been difficult and chaotic or if you have watched the person suffer for a long time. Denial You may not fully accept the reality of the suicide.You may move in and out of denial.This is especially common in the beginning of grief. Why Questions “Why” questions over and over in an effort to understand the reason your loved one died by suicide is a normal part of the healing process.With suicide, even when people think they have touched upon the answer – the “Why” question continues to surface. Fear You may fear that other family members or friends will die. Loss of selfesteem and confidence in problem solving or decision-making is normal. Depression The world as you knew it changed the moment your loved one died. Grief impacts everything including sleep patterns, eating habits, concentration, energy levels and motivation. Spiritual or Religious Beliefs Spiritual beliefs and values previously held may be challenged. You may question the meaning or purpose of life. Fear of rejection by your religious community can also be a factor. Thinking About Suicide Due to the intensity of the grief process, some people just want the pain to end and begin to experience suicide related thoughts. Having these thoughts
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Suicide Prevention 45 SUPPORT FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH LOSS cont’d is common and does not mean you will act on them. However, it is important to seek help and have an assessment completed regarding these thoughts and feelings. Reaching Out If you feel you need more support than family or friends can provide, contact your doctor or counseling agency in your area. Other resources include Canadian Mental Health Associations, spiritual community, bereavement support group, crisis line and Provincial, Territorial or Regional Distress or Suicide Line. Coping Strategies for Living with Suicide Grief Claim your right to grieve Not only is it important to grieve, it is necessary to experience the pain of the suicide loss in order to gain relief. Remember the grief process takes a long time and may never be fully resolved. Express Emotions Grief is emotional. It is a natural response to a traumatic loss. Make time to grieve. Let people you trust know when you need support.Teach others how they can be helpful. Most people will not automatically know what you need. Talk to others who have experienced a loss by suicide. Actions Doing something active rather than just thinking to resolve emotions is healthy. Examples include, journaling, writing letters, walking and exercising. Image by jcomp on freepik.com suicideprevention.ca
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Suicide Prevention 47 211 NL connects Newfoundlanders and Labradorians to their local communities. From a veteran struggling to return to daily life, a newcomer looking to find connection, or someone trying to find supports to achieve food security. People in crisis find the attention they need quickly, and those who need ongoing support always have a friendly voice to help. Data drives planning and innovation in the social and community services sector. 211 enables capture of valuable data that can help governments and other non-profits groups find the best place to focus resources to better support our communities. 211 NL helps partner agencies to get accurate information about all of their services to the people of province quickly. Frontline workers, from first- responders to street outreach workers, can use the extensive 211 database to connect their clients with additional resources that are local to them. https://nl.211.ca/
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Suicide Prevention 49 CLARENVILLE Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee The Clarenville Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee’s 24th annual Battle of the Brains was part of the town of Clarenville’s Wintertainment events. The Eclectics were the winning team at Clarenville and Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee’s Battle of the Brains 2024.
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Suicide Prevention 51 CLARENVILLE Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee The Clarenville Co-op Members Foundation presented the Clarenville and Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee with a very generous donation for their File for Life project on April 29, 2024. Bob Chafe of the Clarenville Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee presents a Certificate of Appreciation to Sobey’s for their donation to the committee’s 2023 Battle of the Brains fundraiser. Members of the Clarenville Area Citizens’ Crime Prevention Committee and their RCMP Police Liaison Officer on their annual Pumpkin Patrol to keep children safe on Halloween night.
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